Rejecting Stagnation


Today and yesterday and the day before that, I was reminded by many things that my life has become needlessly complicated.  Not to say that complexity is a bad thing… just needless complexity.  I recently have been trying to shift the way I interact with the world.  For so long it has been filled with analysis… so much thinking… I feel like I spend more time in my head then I do in actual reality.  What it comes down to is that I am not living my life simply and in the present.  I have closed myself in with so many thoughts and concepts and papers and books and baggage that I can’t even see any value in it… like a pile of junk sitting all around me, occasionally caving in on me.  But the most important thing is… that I am seeing it… and I am thinking logically inside of my mess for once.        This is my first simple decision… and my first step in the direction of this new worldview… get ride of it!  I’m not going to just sit in the middle of it anymore… because obviously its not going away on its own… so I have to dump it.  Conveniently however, I had already been planning to purge myself of my personal belongings, so my determination has only given me more resolve.                  Begins!  I spent 2.5 hours taking pictures of my unneeded books and posting them on Craig’s list.  I also went through my shelves and threw out as much as possible.  My inside me plan is to get rid of the words that are cluttering my meanings.  I don’t want to talk badly about people anymore when i don’t mean it!  I find that partially, when I do it, I don’t even feel strongly about what I’m saying, and only do it because I want to empathize with the person who is frustrated <—-stupid reason).          That is my idea (which I will probably forget in a week because I have become too excited in chasing some other strange and unimportant value that seems like the answer to my confusion.)  On a side note— I am continuing to play accordion, drawing in anticipation of light board antics, reading things I thought I never would, delving deeper into primes, and having strange reactions to cheesy movies and relationships with humanity.  aidou~



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